Well hello, Ohio. Or, as Legally Blond 2 would have it, the Sunshine State (?). After four weeks of basking in a healthy blend of said sunshine and the occasional tornado, I am still mostly unemployed and addicted to cheap wine, cider, terrible Eurotrashy jams and my expertly cultivated fondness for doing absolutely nothing. Besides the fact that I can't think about Heathrow and wish I could still text sex on the Samsung (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4npUdfEmbQ), things are going swimmingly. Life as the only England fan in the Midwest is lonely but SO OVER, because life as the newest Germany fan is full of much better man candy. Achtung, Steven Gerrard...we're through. Thomas Muller called, and he wants to show you his six-pack.
Other things I now like include: e-mail, because some people refuse to join me in the 21st century by having Facebook; pretending I can sing along with the Soweto Gospel Choir, learning to drive in the cemetary, paying for things in dollars (although I do miss all those coins), the fact that it's FINALLY always fashion week somewhere again, Russell Brand and 50 cent drafts.
Things I don't quite fancy: Americans, their accents, their clothes and their awful beer; the fact that Gavin & Stacey only comes on BBC America like once a week, keeping in touch by phone and generally not being in England.
I'd write something sappy about the last 2 weeks of study abroad, but nobody likes an alcoholic who cries all the time. Just rest assured that it included fire escapes, cigars, pasties, pub time, too many pictures, no sleep and something people apparently call 'exams'. Whatever.
I'm off to take pictures of fat people, SUVs, American flags t-shirts and pickup trucks for my tintillating 4th of July special. BAM.
England, you gave me my first cavity and took away my dignity. We're in a relationship, but it's complicated.
xxx
Thursday 1 July 2010
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